2. Secure attachments
A securely attached child will grow up with confidence that adults care about them and their environment is a safe place where they can play and learn.
The Cycle of Secure Attachment
How does such security develop?
When the baby expresses distress because of hunger or is uncomfortable because they are wet, an attentive parent or carer is quickly aware and responsive in a way that is comforting to the baby as his or her needs are met. The baby will enjoy being talked to and played with and is able to respond with smiles and pleasure at such interactions.
When a baby develops trust that their physical and emotional needs will be met through reliable and consistent care, his sense of security in the world can grow. A child is then free to explore his world through play and will develop new skills with the confidence that he is safe and cared for.
Such children can be described as having secure attachments. They can show joy and pleasure in the care they enjoy and are confident that they are loved. They are able to depend on their parent or carer at times of stress, confident of comfort and understanding. As a child experiences that their emotional needs are understood, they become aware that other people have feelings too. With support the child develops and theycan begin to learn to share and negotiate.
This is an important step if children are to learn to cope with frustration and co-operate with others. As they grow up and begin to move into the outside world of pre-school, a secure child will have sufficient confidence to manage this adjustment to greater independence. Secure children will demonstrate this in many ways as they join in with their peers, playing in imaginative ways. These children will be able to co-operate in the classroom and have the energy to learn. They have an enjoyment of life and a belief that they are valued and loved.
You don’t have to be perfect!
No child can have their needs met all of the time and no parent or carer is perfect. Secure children have a firm basis of “good enough” care which enables them to trust that they will be helped to manage the inevitable frustrations they experience. They have developed sufficient self-confidence in their own abilities and, if necessary, there will be a parent to whom they can go for help. They have trust in those that care for them and there is an enduring sense of joy in the relationship.
Self-regulation - how we manage our emotions
The human brain is not fully developed at birth. Connections between the millions of neurons have not yet formed pathways, which will depend on the early experiences of care a baby receives. With good and reliable care over time the brain will develop in a way that enables a child to regulate their feelings, empathise with others, share and learn and to feel good about themselves.
Securely attached babies have attentive carers who help them manage the stress and frustration for which they have no words. The baby is fed and cared for with kind words, perhaps rocked and soothed to enable them to relax and feel reassured and safe. Neural pathways are developing in the brain of the baby which, with reliably good care, becomes the foundation of growing self-regulation of their feelings.
Reliable good experiences of care from early infancy enable the child to have expectations that good care will continue. Over time, the nurtured child learns to think, not only about their own feelings, but the feelings of others.
Secure children can express the full range of positive and negative emotions ranging from happiness to sadness and joy to rage. They learn, with the support of their parent, to regulate these emotions and their behaviour constructively and develop a range of strategies for coping with new social and practical situations. These strategies work increasingly well as they become able to anticipate and take into account the thoughts and feelings of others, as well as feeling confident of their own rights to have their needs met.
Debs' Story
Listen to adoptive parent, Deb talk about the attachment issues she experienced with her daughter.
How brain development is affected through different patterns of attachment
Neural pathways can take different patterns according to different early experiences. Many of the children in care do not begin life with such reliable, consistent care which leads the child to develop very different patterns of behaviour. Neglect and trauma can lead to deficits in the brain’s ability to regulate emotions which can then lead to more troubling behaviours.
Tick the following statements which you think are correct.